![]() Talk about the things that are on your mind. What’s “new” with you is about more than just the photos you posted on Instagram from your vacation last month. “ Intimacy in friendship is about people letting each other into their lives in a deep way,” Hojjat says. Even if it’s way after the fact, staying interested in the details shows that you care, Bleske-Rechek says. Make an extra effort to remember those details when you do talk about them on the phone or virtually, so you can ask your friend about them the next time you converse. And it’s a lot easier to know what those little things are if you’re close enough to see them for yourself - your BFF can’t stand his new haircut or she’s really dreading an upcoming work retreat. Pay attention to the detailsĬaring about the little things that matter to us is part of what makes a friend a friend. “It helps show you’re committed to that friendship.” 6. Talk about an event in the future you know you will both be attending or look forward to an upcoming milestone together (“I can’t believe we’ll both be 50 by this time next year!”), she suggests. We can apply that to friends who live far away by talking about how you intend to keep that person in your life, Bleske-Rechek says. Interactions with others is what creates intimacy, along with how many cultural dimensions you share, adds Robin Dunbar, PhD, Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at University of Oxford, who studies the behavioral, cognitive and neuroendocrinological mechanisms of social bonding. “And retelling after the fact rarely captures the intensity of emotions that individuals experience in the moment.” ![]() “You don’t know exactly how your friend reacted,” Hojjat explains. Virtual lines of communication - the telephone, FaceTime, Facebook - all help keep us connected in those moments when we can’t be together, but they’re usually not the same as physically being there. But it narrows what would have been an opportunity to share in our friend’s experience, Hojjat tells NBC News BETTER. ![]() Missing those events doesn’t mean you don’t care. When one of us moves away, both being in one another’s lives and being able to be there for one another becomes more difficult in a lot of ways because of that lack of proximity - whether it’s being there to celebrate your friend’s birthday, going to hear a band you both love, or watching his dog when he needs to leave town unexpectedly. ![]()
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